Category: television

Warm, in your coat

Some people say that Ivanka Trump is complicit. But I think once she’s under oath, she’ll spill the beans. She won’t want to face a perjury charge and wind up in an “Orange Is the New Black” situation.

Sean Spicer works for “President Trump.”

Like Romans on the eve of the Dark Ages, this is the last chance for Britons to experience the cultural achievements of Western civilization. Before Brexit kicks in.

A forward-thinking entrepreneur will create an app for “Brexit brides.”

Hairless heart

It is difficult to make a natural born buffoon sound even more buffoonish, but Mr Baldwin carries it off in his portrayal of Trump. The bit about Trump confusing a photo of himself with a plate of mashed potatoes is SNL at its Dadaish best.

The French Left was once the top left in the world, laden with intellectual giants (Sartre, de Beauvoir, Foucault, Althusser, etc.), who brought theoretical sophistication and panache to the grubby world of politics. Its apparent demise is shocking.

Italy is in need of a new political Barbarossa.

At least the populist menace was thwarted at the Austrian border.

Nowhere fast

Maureen Dowd’s 1,536th column about the Clintons, although ostensibly about Mr Obama, is not one of her best.

Vichy Progressives have incorporated the Fox News modus operandi vis-a-vis Ms Clinton.

Game of Thrones will end with Arya on the Iron Throne with two house-broken dragons purring at her feet.

I’m beginning to think that like Mr Reagan, Mr Trump has early onset dementia. Or late onset dementia praecox.

Democratic convention, Act 2

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Roll call.

Utah, the beehive hairdo state! …

History made: Ms Clinton is the nominee, Mr Sanders departs the stage gracefully.

Cecile Richards’ appearance at the convention is a giant middle finger to Carly Fiorina and Fox News, and the Colorado Springs mass murderer who was inspired by both.

Lena Dunham and America Ferrara deal themselves in.

As this goes on, Berniebros are holding a cry-in at the media tents.

A Queens congressperson accuses Mr Trump of being a real life Bobby Axelrod (of Billions).

Howard Dean reenacts “The Scream” and appears tame compared to Mr Trump.

Bill Clinton spins an effective yarn, at odds with the meta-narrative of Mr Trump and Berniebros.

Glass ceiling smashed.

It’s over.

Republican convention, Act 2

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(Hell, Hans Memling 1485)

Running commentary:

The roll call of the states is a highlight of every convention.

Each state takes the opportunity to brag about its world class brisket or brothels.

Idaho, proud home of the Aryan Nations…

Each speaker conveys the idea that Mr Trump would make a fine President. In 1876.

Minor revolt by the Alaska delegation. Guns were kept holstered.

It was very nice of Mr Trump to FaceTime from Trump Tower. He can’t spend four days and nights away from Scores.

Senator Wild Turkey from Kentucky is speaking. Alas, Mr McConnell is a poor choice to weigh in on “truth.”

Mr Christie walks out to Barbra Streisand’s “Guilty.”

He’s always specialised in verbal knee-capping.

Berniebros are loving Mr Christie’s speech.

The rumor that Republicans are serving Flint water at the convention is false.

Mr Carson is up now…

Saul Alinsky! Mr Carson is digging deep.

Lucifer!

His performance has reached peak pyramid.

The house band is playing “Into the Coven” as Mr Carson’s walk off music.

It concludes with an avocado actress speaking to an empty room.

Republican convention, Act 1

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Running commentary:

Why isn’t this airing on Comedy Central?

The house band is covering the Rolling Stones. They should probably play “Under My Thumb.”

The world is getting a glimpse of the “Other America.”

Bob Dole is the last surviving “rational” Republican.

It’s sad that the Benghazi mom has allowed her personal tragedy to become a political trump card.

Slapstick from the Benghazi Brothers. The “play off” music fails.

Chuck Norris will not speak at the Convention. Instead, he’s counting to infinity. Again.

I hope Melania’s dress wasn’t stitched together in China.

We may look back on Clint Eastwood’s empty chair skit as a high point in recent Republican politics.

Speaker: How can you defeat an enemy you can’t even name?
POTUS: … drones…

Recall GW Bush’s kinder, gentler Republican convention in 2000, which featured break-dancers to show the diversity of the Republican Party.

The good old days!

Navy seals wringing their hands about how scary the world is. It’s the rise of the emocons, who play the victim card to the max.

It’s hard to imagine the likes of Darth Cheney or Rumsfeld crying about being afraid of the dark.

Rudy Giuliani is speaking, upbraiding the media.

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Twitter weighs in:

Chris Rock @chrisrock
I’m watching the republican convention it’s pretty good. What time does George Zimmerman speak.

Out of the primordial mist strides Mr Trump.

Hopefully, Ms Trump will tell us about Donald as a family man and how he’s adapted to his third marriage.

Now someone (a general?) is talking about bathrooms. It just gets better and better.

3/4 empty hall chanting “Lock her up!” (regarding Ms Clinton).

The Republican subculture are a sad lot.

It’s over. I can’t wait for the entr’acte.