Tagged: Chris Christie

Republican convention, Act 2

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(Hell, Hans Memling 1485)

Running commentary:

The roll call of the states is a highlight of every convention.

Each state takes the opportunity to brag about its world class brisket or brothels.

Idaho, proud home of the Aryan Nations…

Each speaker conveys the idea that Mr Trump would make a fine President. In 1876.

Minor revolt by the Alaska delegation. Guns were kept holstered.

It was very nice of Mr Trump to FaceTime from Trump Tower. He can’t spend four days and nights away from Scores.

Senator Wild Turkey from Kentucky is speaking. Alas, Mr McConnell is a poor choice to weigh in on “truth.”

Mr Christie walks out to Barbra Streisand’s “Guilty.”

He’s always specialised in verbal knee-capping.

Berniebros are loving Mr Christie’s speech.

The rumor that Republicans are serving Flint water at the convention is false.

Mr Carson is up now…

Saul Alinsky! Mr Carson is digging deep.

Lucifer!

His performance has reached peak pyramid.

The house band is playing “Into the Coven” as Mr Carson’s walk off music.

It concludes with an avocado actress speaking to an empty room.

Rocky mountain low

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Running thoughts on Republican Debate #3

Skipped the kid’s table debate in favor of an elective root canal.

The circus music has started up.

Everyone is running for a government position. Everyone hates the government. Contradiction?

Chris Christie promises to create another traffic jam to prevent Ms Clinton from reaching her inauguration.

Rand Paul promises to make more irrelevant speeches in the Senate.

Kasich has had a lot of coffee. He’s en fuego, targeting Trump.

Donald Trump says Kasich was on the board of Lehman Brothers when it tanked. Lehman Brothers is the third rail of Republican economics.

The Canadian Senator (Ted Cruz) says he has hard numbers.

Carly Fiorina says she got a lot done at HP. So much that she was fired.

Hearing Marco Rubio dodge the question about his absentee rate in the Senate makes me thirsty.

Jeb! just destroyed Rubio. OMG he called him French!

Ted Cruz is choked up. He’s talking about Mensheviks and Bolsheviks.

Cruz cut off! The moderators are living dangerously.

In response to Christie’s comments about “entitlement programs,” Huckabee just called Christie a 400 pound man eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Republican Huckabee mentions Republican Bernie Madoff. Odd.

Pistols might spice up the debate.

Jeb! just said he would kiss a man. Did Jeb! just come out?

Rubio says liar liar Hillary’s pant suit is on fire!

Mr Trump says “Down with Super Pacs, up with Tupac!”

Mr Cruz would downsize the IRS by putting tax forms on postcards. Sounds like a Canadian idea.

Jeb! says he wants radical change. He wants radical change in his poll numbers.

Trump just got fact checked, from his own website. This might be a first.

Trump says Guns Guns Guns! More Guns! Stop the sickos!

Jeb! hates the federal government. He’s running to be the Executive of the Federal Government.

Christie from New Jersey is fine with dodgy gambling. Hello Sopranos vote!

The moderators could save time if a graphic “Hates Federal Government” were flashed over each candidate. Most of their answers circle back to this sentiment.

The big finish:

Rand Paul promises to talk for hours and hours on CSPAN tomorrow.
Chris Christie is fed up (obviously).
Canadian Cruz wants to destroy government.
Fired CEO Fiorina fantasizes about beating Clinton.
Surgeon Carson wants America to be great again.
Trump wants to win. He won a shorter debate. He’ll be a great President.
Rubio has a thirst for the American dream.
Jeb! has a proven record of success, except in this campaign.
Huckabee turns to apocalyptic imagery. As President, he’ll delay The Rapture.
Kasich wants stronger families, better neighbors. What this has to do with being President is unclear.

Winner: BMW. That was a nice looking Beamer in one of the commercials.

Losers: Everyone else.

Just another high

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My running thoughts on the second grown up table Republican debate:

Re the kid’s table: Mr Jindal should run again once he reaches puberty.

Mr Trump’s hair is groomed to look like the wing of a fighter jet.

Very diverse audience in the Reagan Temple tonight.

Like Fox News’ Megyn Kelly, CNN’s Jake Tapper is eager to take Mr Trump down.

Rand Paul is Trump’s first punching bag of the evening.

Scott Walker decimated. Trump is a buffoon but he’s playing with fools.

Hopefully, there will be a question about Ms Fiorina and HP.

Jeb! has wandered into Trump’s cesspool.

Fiorina says not talking to Putin shows strength. Funny stuff.

Fortunately, Mr Cruz won’t be elected president.

Mr Huckabee makes the Iran deal a matter of the Apocalypse.

Mr Huckabee advocates lawlessness re the topic of Kim Davis.

Christie pandering. Well played, sir.

Re birthright citizenship, Mr Trump says “we have to take care of the baby for 85 years.” I guess those babies don’t grow up.

Finally, Fiorina has to explain away the HP disaster. Tangling with Trump: poor Fiorina.

The problem in that exchange for Fiorina is that she has a track record of failure. Trump has a track record of more success than failure. But it’s a nonsensical discussion on job creation because as Republicans have said to Obama over and over again: Presidents don’t create jobs.

Unlike Ms Fiorina, Mr Trump will talk to Mr Putin. Putin and Trump are both billionaires. They can talk about investment strategies and Swiss banks.

So Marco Rubio is a shirker (i.e., high absentee rate) in the Senate. Trump keeps bringing it.

Rubio floundering. He’s toast.

Jeb! says Peace Through Strength. It’s 1950 again.

Scott Walker says “I won’t back down.” Maybe Tom Petty should be President.

Mr Cruz thinks Chief Justice John Roberts is a liberal. I think Mr Cruz is a loon.

Mr Rubio says “radical terror cannot be solved by intellect.” To be fair, he has no experience with intellect.

Winners: Trump, Jeb!, Paul
Losers: Carson, Christie
Biggest Losers: Fiorina, Walker, Huckabee, Rubio, Kasich, Cruz

Melody Nelson

Another atrocity from the NYPD.

One clown down. Rick Perry has dropped out of the race. Mr Trump soaked up Perry voters, which is why Perry went after him. He’s also swiped the voters of the Canadian Senator Cruz.

Republicans are nihilists.

Mr Trump’s reality show is primarily destroying right-wing clowns like Perry (gone), Jindal (non-existent), Huckabee (reduced to trolling for a religiously deranged public official in Kentucky), Paul (reduced to booking 60 hours on the Senate floor to filibuster every and any bill in order to gain attention), Cruz (reduced to reclaiming Canadian citizenship), Santorum (barely frothing), Walker (non-existent), and the alleged moderate Christie (who couldn’t find a bridge to blockade now if his life depended on it).

Carly Fiorina’s tepid reply won’t diminish Mr Trump’s popularity in the Republican base, which loves his unapologetic misogyny. As far as Tea Party Republicans are concerned, the more “unpresidential” a candidate is, the better.

Mr Trump understands the #1 rule of American conservative fight club: never apologise.

Apparently, Kentucky’s Kim Davis will issue marriage licenses for same sex couples. Her jailing was just a publicity stunt to raise money for right-wing causes. I had looked forward to her crucifixion along with two common criminals. Hopes dashed.

What is and what should never be

Right-wing movements around the world are fighting a battle against modernity that has already been lost. This explains the wild flailing and general cluelessness they exhibit. They represent a negative politics, nothing more. They can be counted on to exhibit high levels of symbolic violence, with the threat of physical violence barely held in abeyance.

Chris Christie is a typical New Jersey pol: belligerent, clownish, willing to kneecap an opponent if necessary; his brass knuckles political style is best suited to 1892.

Mr Huckabee says forcing people opposed to same-sex marriage to accept it was the same as telling Jews they had to serve “bacon-wrapped shrimp in their deli”.  He’s the perfect candidate for the twelfth century.

Anti-vaxxers are the ISIS of public health.

Stronger through the years

Hopefully the Japanese government will put an end to the barbarism that is whaling. It’s time for Japan to join the 21st century.

Once you get past the puritanical morality and gun violence, you’ll find that Americans are capable of both irony and sarcasm.

Governor Chris Christie was thinking of Fort Lee, New Jersey when he referred to the West Bank as the “occupied territories.”

The best Richard the IIIs: Olivier has the right amount of camp; McKellen is massively sinister. All the rest pale in comparison.

Noah lived to be 900 years old, much longer than the Kings of Gondor.