Category: television

Passive

The Gowanus Canal is like having a little piece of New Jersey in Brooklyn.

Wikileaks has a copy of the Mueller Report. For sale.

Billionaire DeVos cuts $18 million from Special Olympics.

Who will portray the miserable Markle father in the impending sitcom?

BernieBros don’t know what to make of Pete Buttigieg or how to destroy him. They obviously can’t play the misogyny card.

Warm, in your coat

Some people say that Ivanka Trump is complicit. But I think once she’s under oath, she’ll spill the beans. She won’t want to face a perjury charge and wind up in an “Orange Is the New Black” situation.

Sean Spicer works for “President Trump.”

Like Romans on the eve of the Dark Ages, this is the last chance for Britons to experience the cultural achievements of Western civilization. Before Brexit kicks in.

A forward-thinking entrepreneur will create an app for “Brexit brides.”

Hairless heart

It is difficult to make a natural born buffoon sound even more buffoonish, but Mr Baldwin carries it off in his portrayal of Trump. The bit about Trump confusing a photo of himself with a plate of mashed potatoes is SNL at its Dadaish best.

The French Left was once the top left in the world, laden with intellectual giants (Sartre, de Beauvoir, Foucault, Althusser, etc.), who brought theoretical sophistication and panache to the grubby world of politics. Its apparent demise is shocking.

Italy is in need of a new political Barbarossa.

At least the populist menace was thwarted at the Austrian border.

Nowhere fast

Maureen Dowd’s 1,536th column about the Clintons, although ostensibly about Mr Obama, is not one of her best.

Vichy Progressives have incorporated the Fox News modus operandi vis-a-vis Ms Clinton.

Game of Thrones will end with Arya on the Iron Throne with two house-broken dragons purring at her feet.

I’m beginning to think that like Mr Reagan, Mr Trump has early onset dementia. Or late onset dementia praecox.

Democratic convention, Act 2

Unknown

Roll call.

Utah, the beehive hairdo state! …

History made: Ms Clinton is the nominee, Mr Sanders departs the stage gracefully.

Cecile Richards’ appearance at the convention is a giant middle finger to Carly Fiorina and Fox News, and the Colorado Springs mass murderer who was inspired by both.

Lena Dunham and America Ferrara deal themselves in.

As this goes on, Berniebros are holding a cry-in at the media tents.

A Queens congressperson accuses Mr Trump of being a real life Bobby Axelrod (of Billions).

Howard Dean reenacts “The Scream” and appears tame compared to Mr Trump.

Bill Clinton spins an effective yarn, at odds with the meta-narrative of Mr Trump and Berniebros.

Glass ceiling smashed.

It’s over.

Republican convention, Act 2

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(Hell, Hans Memling 1485)

Running commentary:

The roll call of the states is a highlight of every convention.

Each state takes the opportunity to brag about its world class brisket or brothels.

Idaho, proud home of the Aryan Nations…

Each speaker conveys the idea that Mr Trump would make a fine President. In 1876.

Minor revolt by the Alaska delegation. Guns were kept holstered.

It was very nice of Mr Trump to FaceTime from Trump Tower. He can’t spend four days and nights away from Scores.

Senator Wild Turkey from Kentucky is speaking. Alas, Mr McConnell is a poor choice to weigh in on “truth.”

Mr Christie walks out to Barbra Streisand’s “Guilty.”

He’s always specialised in verbal knee-capping.

Berniebros are loving Mr Christie’s speech.

The rumor that Republicans are serving Flint water at the convention is false.

Mr Carson is up now…

Saul Alinsky! Mr Carson is digging deep.

Lucifer!

His performance has reached peak pyramid.

The house band is playing “Into the Coven” as Mr Carson’s walk off music.

It concludes with an avocado actress speaking to an empty room.