Rinse Freebase says goodbye.
Mickey Donovan makes an appearance.
Ivanka Trump says:
Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father. Vote for my father.
Donald Trump says:
Face it America, you’re gonna get killed. Believe it.
Vote for me and you’ll live. Believe it.
America, be very afraid. Believe it.
Sith lords make way for the orcs.
A former astronaut is speaking about space exploration to people who are anti-science.
I remember when Scott Walker quit the primary campaign, he urged the other candidates to unite against Trump.
Little Marco endorses Trump!
There’s Lucifer in the flesh. Canada’s Ted Cruz.
Weird. Cruz criticizes “government decrees,” yet praises GITMO, which was established by a government decree.
Cruz: Freedom means the religious freedom to enact bigoted laws.
This convention does put the theory of evolution into question.
The odor of sulfur is filling the arena at the moment.
Old “Country First” signs from the McCain/Palin era have come out.
No endorsement. Booing! Perfect!!!
Fox News is trashing Cruz for failing to endorse Trump.
Newt is good at bringing the fear.
Poor Newt was rushed to end his speech because Pence has now been pushed into irrelevance as 11pm EST approaches.
Mike Pence introduces himself: Christian. Conservative. Republican.
But not American.
The contrast of the Trump and Pence families is striking. Thrift store versus Fifth Avenue.
God can heal our land. Elect Trump. Makes sense.
Donald couldn’t help himself, he had to rise up out of his pit and step on Pence’s one moment in the sun.
(Hell, Hans Memling 1485)
The roll call of the states is a highlight of every convention.
Each state takes the opportunity to brag about its world class brisket or brothels.
Idaho, proud home of the Aryan Nations…
Each speaker conveys the idea that Mr Trump would make a fine President. In 1876.
Minor revolt by the Alaska delegation. Guns were kept holstered.
It was very nice of Mr Trump to FaceTime from Trump Tower. He can’t spend four days and nights away from Scores.
Senator Wild Turkey from Kentucky is speaking. Alas, Mr McConnell is a poor choice to weigh in on “truth.”
Mr Christie walks out to Barbra Streisand’s “Guilty.”
He’s always specialised in verbal knee-capping.
Berniebros are loving Mr Christie’s speech.
The rumor that Republicans are serving Flint water at the convention is false.
Mr Carson is up now…
Saul Alinsky! Mr Carson is digging deep.
His performance has reached peak pyramid.
The house band is playing “Into the Coven” as Mr Carson’s walk off music.
It concludes with an avocado actress speaking to an empty room.
Why isn’t this airing on Comedy Central?
The house band is covering the Rolling Stones. They should probably play “Under My Thumb.”
The world is getting a glimpse of the “Other America.”
Bob Dole is the last surviving “rational” Republican.
It’s sad that the Benghazi mom has allowed her personal tragedy to become a political trump card.
Slapstick from the Benghazi Brothers. The “play off” music fails.
Chuck Norris will not speak at the Convention. Instead, he’s counting to infinity. Again.
I hope Melania’s dress wasn’t stitched together in China.
We may look back on Clint Eastwood’s empty chair skit as a high point in recent Republican politics.
Speaker: How can you defeat an enemy you can’t even name?
POTUS: … drones…
Recall GW Bush’s kinder, gentler Republican convention in 2000, which featured break-dancers to show the diversity of the Republican Party.
The good old days!
Navy seals wringing their hands about how scary the world is. It’s the rise of the emocons, who play the victim card to the max.
It’s hard to imagine the likes of Darth Cheney or Rumsfeld crying about being afraid of the dark.
Rudy Giuliani is speaking, upbraiding the media.
Twitter weighs in:
Chris Rock @chrisrock
I’m watching the republican convention it’s pretty good. What time does George Zimmerman speak.
Out of the primordial mist strides Mr Trump.
Hopefully, Ms Trump will tell us about Donald as a family man and how he’s adapted to his third marriage.
Now someone (a general?) is talking about bathrooms. It just gets better and better.
3/4 empty hall chanting “Lock her up!” (regarding Ms Clinton).
The Republican subculture are a sad lot.
It’s over. I can’t wait for the entr’acte.