Football (i.e., soccer) writers are like weather vanes.

Football writers often spice up their narratives with banalogies, that is, references to world historical events that are intended to add heft to the lightweight subject matter. For example:

Banalogy 1: Brazil’s 7-1 loss to Germany was the football equivalent of the Kennedy assassination.

Banalogy 2: A loss to Argentina in the World Cup final would be equivalent to Germany’s defeat at Stalingrad.

Then, there’s this winner from Slate: “Is Arjen Robben a Jerk, or Does He Just Suffer From Jerk Face Syndrome?”

In contrast, political reporters are like carnival barkers at a freak show.

What gullible parents believe they can send their children to the USA to receive free things if they aren’t a corporation.