Tagged: The Onion

Better change

It’s disappointing that Mr Gorbachev is playing Saruman to Mr Putin’s Sauron.

Conservatives on both sides find pleasure in Cold War. It makes their innate belligerence politically relevant and ethically viable.


A new batch of “Constitutional Conservatives” will enter Congress in January.

Among the new freshmen, for instance, is one congressman-elect who has called Hillary Clinton the “anti-Christ,” another who has suggested Muslims don’t deserve First Amendment rights, and yet another who has declared himself open to the idea of the United States invading Mexico.

Glenn Grothman (R-Wis.). Grothman will be replacing Rep. Tom Petri (R-Wis.), a reliable supporter of the leadership. Grothman is likely to be anything but that. The conservative firebrand has called for eliminating Kwanzaa — a holiday he says “almost no black people today care about” — and the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. As if that were not enough, he has also accused the federal government of waging a “war on men” by promoting affirmative action.

Mark Walker (R-N.C.). Walker generated headlines by suggesting that the U.S. invade Mexico to limit the stream of undocumented immigrants crossing the southwestern border. “Well, we did it before. If we need to do it again, I don’t have a qualm about it,” Walker said about going to war with Mexico.

Ryan Zinke (R-Mont.). Back in January, Zinke declared during a campaign stop that Hillary Clinton was the “anti-Christ.” On the same occasion, he insisted that “We need to focus on the real enemy,” apparently in reference to Clinton.

These gentlemen will supply The Onion with headlines for the next two years.